Ran a small print shop for 11 years, sold it last spring. Used to spend hours on calls with new owners who'd ask 'what would you do here?' then shoot down every answer. Finally realized they weren't looking for advice, they were looking for a sparring partner. Now I just say 'sounds like you've got a plan' and move on. Feels rude but my blood pressure thanks me.
Mindset
I've stopped giving business advice to people who only want to argue
The 'sounds like you've got a plan' line is doing a lot of heavu lifting there. Stealing it.
I don't think it's rude at all. Some people just want to hear themselves think out loud and you happen to be the wall they're bouncing off. Walls don't argue back.
Eh, I've been on both sides. Sometimes when someone asks a question they're genuinely trying to stress-test their own thinking and it comes out as combative. But yeah, 11 years is long enough to tell the difference. You earned the right to bow out
how do you tell the difference though? genuinely asking. i always worry i'm being the annoying one when i push back on advice
Fair question. For me it came down to whether they asked a follow-up or made a counterpoint. Follow-ups like 'what made you pick that supplier' meant they were curious. Counterpoints like 'well actually that wouldn't work because...' before I'd even finished a sentence meant they'd already decided.
Also the tone. People who want to learn say 'huh, tell me more.' People who want to argue say 'yeah but.' You can hear it in the first syllable.
This is going to sound harsh but a lot of those people aren't actually asking for advice, they're asking for permission. And when you don't give them the permission they wanted, they get mad and argue. Different problem entirely.
Oh that's a good reframe. Permission vs advice. I've definitely been the permission-seeker before and not realized it.
The other thing nobody mentions is that free advice has no skin in the game. When I was starting out I argued with everyone because I had nothing invested in their opinion. The advice I actually took came from people I was paying. Funny how that works.
I run a small landscaping crew and I've just started quoting an hourly rate for 'consulting' calls with people who aren't clients. Weed out the arguers real fast. Nobody wants to Pay $75/hr to be told they're wrong.
that's actually kind of genius. do people actually pay it or do they just ghost
About 90% ghost. The 10% who pay are almost always serious, and we end up working together. Best filter I've ever found.
The paid consult angle is interesting. I never charged because I felt weird about it, but honestly the the free calls were the ones that drained me the most. Maybe I had it backwards.
There's a weird thing where people value advice in proportion to what they paid for it. Free advice gets argued with. Paid advice gets taken seriously even if it's the exact same words.
Counterpoint: sometimes the best mentors I've had gave advice for free and I argued with them anyway, and that arguing is how I actually learned. So maybe don't write off the arguers completely.